Punctuation Rehab? No, No, No

"Rehab" by Amy Winehouse just came on my Pandora Station, so I decided that it's time to post a classic apostrophe catastrophe from another celebrity trainwreck.


Bad punctuation? That's not hot.

Thanks to National Grammar Day, which was yesterday, for inspiring this posting.

Happy National Grammar Day!

Today is National Grammar Day. What will you be doing to celebrate? Maybe I'll buy a new bag! But not this one:


The description contains an apostrophe catastrophe (it's instead of its) and a semicolon following a comma. It's no J. Peterman catalog.

Cheap Jewelry, Bad Punctuation

With the economy in the dumps, many people are selling off their jewelry. This company should have pawned an earring to pay for a proofreader.


Yours is already possessive and doesn't need an apostrophe.

Thanks to Hanika from California for sending me this internet ad.

Sloppy Punctuation

This supermarket circular uses surprisingly good punctuation most of the time, until we get to the photo caption.


Does Sloppy Joe own something that we're not mentioning here?

Thanks to Michelle for sending this one in.

I Hope Their Food Is Better Than Their Punctuation

JC's Backyard BBQ is offering free food for kids on Tuesday's [sic]. I'd like to offer them some free help with their horrible punctuation.


Also, I don't think there's a need to hurry if this promotion doesn't start until December. Or maybe they mean we should hurry back in time three months.

Thanks to Dave for sending this one in!

New Ways to Screw Up Punctuation

News agent is such a commonly used expression in the UK that I don't understand how anyone could get it wrong. But somehow Sweet N Things in Brighton, England, managed to.


Thanks to Mark for uploading this appalling example of apostrophe misuse to this blog's facebook group.

Cheers!

One of these Is Probably Right

Here's another submission from Smoochiefrog. One of these signs must be right, right?



And what are they trying to say about the closing costs? Thanks, SF!

A Big League Mistake

Red Sox fans would be thrilled if Yaz's grandson made it to the majors, a.k.a. the Big Leagues. But lose that apostrophe in the headline, Boston Globe.



Thanks to Kirsten for sending in this apostrophe catastrophe from my hometown paper. Check out her Minnesota Twins blog here.

Answers to Apostrophe Crossword Puzzle

Here are the answers to the apostrophe crossword puzzle that I posted a couple of weeks ago. No cheating!


Click on the image above to make it larger. How did everyone do?

Unstoppably Bad Grammar

My friend/former co-worker Fiona sent me a link from one of the most poorly written web sites I've ever seen. Are you ready to be horrified?


Two apostrophe catastrophes (three if you count "TV's" as a catastrophe -- depends on your style guide), random capitalization, subject verb disagreement, spacing problems, a spelling mistake, no periods, missing hyphens, run-on sentences ... this web site has it all. My brain hurts.

Thanks, Fiona! Way to carpe diem! (She's a Latin teacher.)

Amici's Photo's and Menu's

A lot of people seem to think it's necessary to add an apostrophe when pluralizing a word that ends in a vowel. These people include Amici's Restaurant.


That should be menus and photos, Amici's folks. But I could use a martini or two from your lounge.

Thanks to friend-of-a-friend Bethany for sending this one in!

How Did This Person Get Into College?

Angela spotted this sign on the front doors of her on-campus apartment building:


The sign features an apostrophe catastrophe and a misspelling! I'd be embarrassed if the person who wrote were my classmate. Maybe s/he cheated on the SATs. It reminds me of when I overheard a guy in my sophomore year dorm call sangria "a Spanish connotation," and I asked him, "Do you go here?" I was very disappointed when he said he did.

Thanks, Angela!

Yet Another Valentine's Day Catastrophe

I should have posted this one on Saturday, but I got distracted trying to figure out whether or not Presidents' Day should have an apostrophe in it. Suzy, who happens to be the former roommate of one of my friends (small world!), sent me this photo of a horrendous t-shirt from a Goodwill shop in New York City:


She says she was so disgusted by the t-shirt that she was "tempted to complain to the manager."

Check out Suzy's original blog posting on this topic here. Thanks, Suz!

Should There Be an Apostrophe in Presidents Day?

There should be a simple answer to the question of how to punctuate today's holiday. But the problem is that Presidents Day is not the official name of the holiday; it's Washington's Birthday. But most workplaces -- including my own -- give employees the day off in honor of more than one president. So, how should we punctuate presidents?

Driving along the Auto Mile a couple of days ago, I saw it written on banners as President's Day, Presidents' Day, and Presidents Day. Option number two is what my calendar uses. But my calendar -- and this list of federal holidays -- calls November 11 Veterans Day (no apostrophe). If we were going for consistency, today should be Presidents Day. That's certainly what they'd do in Birmingham. But I'm going to have to declare Presidents' Day the winner. It just looks right.

The Perfect Valentine's Day Gift

This is a rough weekend for a lot of people, especially punctuation sticklers. With Valentine's Day and Presidents' Day upon us, we're inundated with misplaced apostrophes.

This sparkly gift I received is appropriate for both holidays because it represents the love I feel for our president. Sadly, it commits two apostrophe catastrophes.


Stick Em' only works as a contraction if you're talking about a skinny dude named Emile. And, according to most style guides, MP3s shouldn't have an apostrophe in it either.

Happy Valentine's Day, blog readers! I love you!